Peter Fleming, Di McLanachan, Mo Shapiro: The Ultimate Negotiation Book

Your Negotiation Skills Masterclass

Creating the right environment

Three categories of negotiations: competitive, collaborative and consensual.

The right time to negotiate is probably when you have least need for a deal and your opponent’s need is greater.

The right place is any place where you feel most comfortable and most confident.

Researching your objectives

How long do you have to wait before you have enough experience to back ‘instinct’?

The skilled negotiator always prepares a checklist of objectives and uses it to compare actual results from meetings with those expected.

A negotiating brief:

Your objectives.
Your best assessment of your opponent’s objectives.

You can also add:

An agenda of issues to discuss.
Your objectives expressed in terms of parameters.
Questions to ask to reveal information about the negotiation on your opponent’s position.

Time can have a crucial effect on the negotiation process.

Pre-meeting planning:

Opening – areas of common ground, interest in the meeting, need (ours, theirs).
Authority – who am I meeting, how much authority they have.
Power and influence – how can we exploit our strengths for mutual benefit.
Commitment – will a negotiated agreement stick.
Competition/exclusivity.
Innovation and promotion.

People and places

To be successful, negotiators need to be able to persuade other people to agree with them and/or take action, and the successful salesperson undoubtedly has a head start over the rest of us.

We have two styles: extrovert and inductive. The inductive style is concerned with trying to encourage your opponent to do something, by pulling him or her towards that position.

Extrovert style works best in the short term, when negotiators are working in a powerful situation.

In practice people use the mix of both style. The skilled negotiator will aim to develop expertise in both areas.

All negotiations take place against a background of needs, if needs did not exist, then there would be little point in meeting to negotiate.

Develop your questioning skills, especially those ‘open’ questions – the ‘Whats’, ‘Whers’, ‘Whens’ and ‘Hows’, but not too many of the ‘Whys’ as they can seem confrontational.

Breaking the ice

The way in which negotiators ‘break the ice’ at the start of a negotiation can have a big effect on the later stages of the meeting.

Skills assessment:

Establishing rapport.
Establishing common ground.
Establishing common objectives.
Building a joint agenda.
Getting comfortable.
Clarity of speech.
Assertive behavior.
Avoidance of bias and tunnel vision.
Maintaining flexibility.
Listening for overtones and signals.
Questioning skills.
Controlling and reading body language.

How can listening go wrong? People have a habit of tuning out – especially if they do not want to hear what is being said.

We tend to take communication skills for granted and recognize that we could improve them only when we come across an opponent who is significantly better at it than we are.

The agenda

Salespeople sometimes describe unwilling clients as ‘time-wasters’, although their failure to ‘qualify the customer’ (ask questions to determine their interests, needs, preferences, timing, budget, etc.) in the first instance may have led directly to this situation.

There is a right time for proposals in a negotiation meeting, and experienced negotiators sense when the moment is right.

The Professor Parkinson said (referred to as Parkinson’s Law) that the time taken for decisions is in inverse proportion to the costs incurred.

Who should make the first proposal – and what that should be – is an issue which can give the inexperienced negotiator some concern.

A major aim of the early discussion stage in the meeting is to tease out the other party’s position on each agenda item – and the arguments used to defend them.

Phrasing of proposal is crucial. The best formula is to present your proposal using a conditional approach.

When a bridge is needed between discussion part of the meeting and concluding the bargain, either party may introduce trial proposals.

Proposals are what make the negotiation move forward.

Conclude the deal

What are the skills we need to develop to close off a negotiation meeting satisfactorily:

Summarizing progress.
Resurrecting earlier issues for agreement.
Linking issues in the agreement.
Using concessions to improve the agreement.
Listening for concessions.
Using appropriate closing techniques.

Summaries help to clarify proposals and the terms of agreement. It is very important to listen to summaries given by your opponent. There is always a risk that something your believe has been agreed is left out or changed in the opponent’s summary.

Some common ways of closing:

Calling a recess.
Imposing a deadline.
Threatening to pull out or call time.
Asking for agreement.
The summary close.

If one part believes that the other party needs the agreement, then a bluff to pull out of the meeting may work.

A simple way of closing the deal is to ask for your opponent’s agreement. Actually, a rejection might not be the disaster it may seem. Why? The answer may clarify your opponent’s objections, giving you one last chance to bring the negotiation to a satisfactory conclusion.

Those who have the responsibility to prepare the notes are sometimes tempted to misuse that power to rewrite them to suit their preferred position.

The combination of an industry-leading strategy and excellent negotiators can bring world-beating results.

Learning from your experiences

Evaluating performance:

Preparation – what outcomes I want, what concessions can I give, have I prioritized my objectives.
Know yourself.
Opening the meeting.

The meeting – how well can I balance talking and listening, am I using If … then and So … successfully, can I use closing skills.

7 x 7

Tips – listen carefully what is said and what is not said.
Resources – Dave Carnegie: How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Things to do – revisit some recent deals and consider what created the difference.
Behaviors to avoid – the single most dangerous word which can be spoken in business is no, the second most dangerous word is yes (Lois Wyse). Shadow-boxing can be very frustrating.
Preliminary issues – you will know that opponent is willing to negotiate when they will send some signal.
Planning issues.
Powerful behaviors.

Your Advanced Negotiation Skills Masterclass

Preparation: a hard taskmaster

There is a much better chance of achieving a good deal when both parties are well prepared.

There are four main factors that contribute success to a negotiation:

Knowledge of the subject/process involved.
The relative starting positions of the negotiating parties.
Any levers/benefits that could be applied to bring the parties towards an agreement.
The skills involved in influencing/persuading the other party to reach agreement.

Type of negotiators:

Safety first.
Opportunist – quickly reach a deal that your instinctively know will be welcomed by your own organization.
Completer/Finisher – aspires to have all the is dotted and ts crossed and set out from the start to ensure that everything promised can be delivered exactly as agreed.
Escapologist – they never relies on the crutch of logical thought and instead prefers to cut deals on the basis of instinct.
Politician – is very concerned about ensuring that the deal reached meets current standards of acceptability.
Expert/Teacher – true expert are usually the quiet.
Extrovert – warn and sociable.
Pessimist – is not a good negotiator if negotiations are about the future.
Naive person.
Controller.

Each of us ha a variable speed at which our brain can comprehend what is being said – which is also affected by the speed of our opponent’s communication style and language used.

Top negotiators are skilled at:

Talking economically and purposefully.
Listening attentively.
Observing and analyzing accurately.
Speaking sensitively.

Thinking through the issues – those that are explicit, and seeking evidence to support those that are only implied.

Negotiating growth through partnering

All negotiators need to find the right people who have:

A recognition and knowledge of needs.
The necessary resources.
The time to meet.
The authority to negotiate.
The self-confidence to commit.

The nearer one gets to the top of organization, the higher the risk of prevarication (or even reluctance to commit).

The ‘power-over’ complex assumes that the other party’s business exists only because our organization allows it. The ‘power-with’ relationship assumes a more supportive partnership.

Types of culture of your partner matter. We have Pioneers. The negotiation style is more commonly found in a street market. We have Specialists. Delegated authority is important. Integrated-decision makers are next. The decision-making may be conducted in committees. Organic structures are the most complex.

A lack of manners may be the sign of a lack of interest in the other party’s needs. Trust has not yet been established.

Negotiation is about uncovering knowledge and information before trading something for something. Senior negotiators must have a good understanding of about authority and power and how decisions can be influenced with proven ideas gained from experience elsewhere.

Effective influence in negotiation

Effective influence – can be defined as how easily we can persuade other people to accept our proposals.

Consider the following framework for effective negotiations:

P – preparation
R – research (when needed)
– open the meeting
D – discussion
Pro – proposals
S – summarize
C – close

People are rarely prepared to talk about the future when they are still smarting from past failures or disappointments.

Persuasive outcomes are more likely to be achieved by adopting the following behaviors:

Seeking information.
Proposing. Suppose we are able to …
Testing understanding. Can I just clarify a point here?
Supporting
Building.
Summarizing.
Reflecting feelings.

Negative behaviors:

Counter-proposal.
Shutting out.
Disagreeing.
Blocking.
Defence/attack.
Argument dilution.

Neutral behaviors:

Giving information.
Talking.

Some people think that a stronger case can be made by preparing a large team to support the main negotiator at crucial meetings. The most powerful use of team members lies in casting them into specific roles. But you need to manage inter-team communication.

Briefing is important. Team manifesto is a good place to start. Leaders should also establish rules of engagement.

Recesses provide valuable opportunities.

Making proposals and trading concessions

Productive negotiating will not happen unless the strategic preparation and self-presentation are matched by the ability to manage the potential cut-and-thrust of the actual conversation.

There are two types of proposal: process proposals and content proposals. In a negotiation, the only type of behavior that will make forward progress is a content proposal.

Many people have a dilemma: they don’t want to demand the earth but equally don’t want to be offered very little.

Trial proposals are a useful way to make progress without risking a win/lose outcome.

I suppose we might be able to improve the offer … How could you help?
How about we cancel this account and start afresh?

Counter proposals tend to be much less used by collaborative negotiators than by competitive negotiators.

Avoid at all costs the thought that a concession made now will be remembered by the other party in your next deal. Adjust the issues with a very small concession.

Remember that the more people there are involved in meetings the less likely it is that time will be used wisely.

The best results come from being able to balance objectives and concessions on both sides.

Problem-solving through consulting and listening skills

Whenever and wherever we negotiate, the chances that we will collide with the attitudes and ideas of others are high.

Removing the listening barriers: commonly understood language, is the way I speak appealing or provocative, did I correctly identify the best selling points, was my communication punchy and persuasive, did I eradicate irritators, did we attract influential individuals, did we spell out the results of not adopting the proposed change.

Here is the remainder of the key negotiating behaviors and techniques used by top negotiators:

Trial proposals.
Timing.
Motivators of conflict.
Levers.
Defeat or humiliation.
Retaliation.
Thin end of the wedge.
Deterrent.
Guerilla warfare.

Negotiators should be encouraged to follow these sequential steps:

Observation.
Analysis and diagnosis.
Test negotiation.
Analysis of problem/opportunity.
Application.
Results.
Review.

What if? – closing skills

Closing the deal should entail arriving at a logical result, a predictable outcome.

If you are sure that the deal is good, ask the closing question: “So are we ready to close and sign off this agreement?” ‘One yes’ and the deal is done.

Your timing is vital – premature closure could still lose you the deal.

Top negotiators find probing skills very valuable.

When approaching closing sequences negotiators need to be alert to any hint of negative signals, which may reinforce the need for caution.

Argument dilution: the tendency to give multiple reasons for an action when only the best may be needed to make the point.
Defence/attack.
Blocking.
Shutting out: this is impolite behavior involving one person taking over another before they have completed the sentence or idea.
Irritators.
Exaggeration.

Top negotiators are ablet to gain an insight into how close they might be to the finish line by asking the question: ‘How are you feeling about the progress we have made so far?’

Five methods of closing a deal:

Close any gap.
Time and timing: this needs sensitivity.
Either/or choice: a softer option (no deal is not on offer).
Last concession: a riskier approach.
Recess: time to think it over may be helpful.

Any misunderstanding at this stage may cause entire issues to have to be reopened at yet another negotiation, or – in the worst-case scenario – a complete breakdown in relationship.

Celebrating the successful outcome

Negotiation meetings are important – they provide opportunities for the parties to test out their arguments, look for common ground, and reach agreement with all the factors needed for the deal to be completed. But this presumes that the deal is enforceable.

It is important that the agreement includes details of on how the progress of implementation will be monitored. This might be achieved by written reports, audits, visits and/or third-party involvement.

Business relationships do not stand still – they are subject to the ebb and flow of politics and economics as well as personal credibility.

Knowing something is very different from practicing it.

Tips for listening, do not:

Make hasty judgements.
Let your attention wander.
Listen selectively.

7 x 7

Key ideas: Use ‘small-talk’ but avoid ‘loose talk’. Don’t make ‘cast-iron claims’ about exaggerated points.
Key resources.
Best personal resources.
Things to do today.
Inspiring negotiation strategies. If you are not in a negotiation position, leave.
Negotiation quotes. We must never try to make all the money that’s in a deal (J. Paul. Getty). Anger can be an effective negotiation tool, but only as a calculated act, never as a reaction (Mark McCormack). When a man says that he approves something in principle, it means he hasn’t the slightest intention of putting it into practice (Otto von Bismarck). Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way (Sir David Frost).
Trends.

Your Persuasion and Influence Masterclass

What is influence

Influence:

To affect how others see a certain point or action, and react upon it.
To leave a mark on someone.
To have someone or something start acting a bit like you.

In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dave Carnegie said, that there is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything and that is by making the other person want to do it. That there is no other way.

Different personality types related to buying decisions:

The gadget geek.
The connoisseur collector. They seek elite purchases.
The memorabilia collector. Similar to the connoisseur collector, but dedicated to a particular theme.
The trend follower. This people are heart buyers.
The impulse buyer. They are easily influenced.
The self-help junkie.

Value is the common denominator for all six types. What converts a ‘want’ to a ‘need’ is its perceived value.

The gadget geek. Vulnerable to peer pressure.
The connoisseur collector. They seek financial value – see the purchase as investment.
The memorabilia collector. They have huge affection for their purchase.
The trend follower. Searching for identity.
The impulse buyer. Respond to emotions.
The self-help junkie. Search for personal fulfillment.

One technique that Churchill deployed in order to add impact to his speeches was the use of pauses.

Conveying the right image

As human beings we have an innate desire to make sense of things. Within four seconds of seeing someone for the first time, we start to make assumptions and judgements about them. Once the person starts to speak we make further observations assumptions about their background, where they are from and even their level of intelligence.

Our mind has a ‘thinker’ and a ‘prover’. Whatever the thinker is thinking about, it is the prover’s job to provide supporting evidence that says, Yes, you’re right.

You only get one chance to make a first impression.

Becoming a voice of authority

The ‘authority research’ originally carried out by Stanley Milgram in the 1960s, and successfully replicated on television by Derren Brown in 2006, showed the extent to which people were willing to follow an authoritative voice, even to the point of them obeying that voice without question.

If people are in a situation of uncertainty, they not only look to be led but like to be led and to be told what to do.

The views of someone who appears to be knowledgeable, confident, assured and an expert in their field are unlikely to be challenged.

Research has shown that people need repetition in order to feel convinced. Further, it has been found that the magic number of repetition is three.

A commonly used presentation structure is:

Tell them what you’re going to tell them (introduction).
Tell them (content).
Tel them what you’ve told them (conclusion).

Maintaining a voice of authority when faced with an aggressive person. Follow the structure known as assertive sentence:

Acknowledge the other person’s situation.
Next, say ‘however…’ (never use the word but).
State your position.
Suggest a mutually acceptable outcome.

Speaking language of influence

The core model of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) illustrates how we take in information from around us (external events), pass it through our own individual set of ‘filters’, make sense of it, react to it emotionally and physically, and finally behave in a way that feels appropriate to us.

To protect our conscious mind from overload, we all have a set of filters, made up of such things as memories, decisions, values, beliefs, attitudes, language and a lot more.

The role of the filters is to delete, distort or generalize information coming in, in order to make sense of it. The information then becomes an ‘internal representation’ of what is going on outside us.

The word rapport stems from the French verb rapporter, which literally means to carry something back.

The body language of two people who are getting on well together becomes matched and mirrored. This natural matching and mirroring process is also referred to as ‘entrainment’. This phenomenon of entrainment was discovered by Christian Huygens in about 1665.

Albert Mehrabian describes the segments of communication in this way: physiology (55%), tone of voice (38%) and words (7%).

Characteristics of voice:

Volume
Speed
Tone
Pitch
Energy
Intonation
Phrasing

In order to match someone else on their vocabulary, listen to the following:

Key words
VHF words – when we speak, we tend to use words that fit into our preferred channel of communication (visual, hearing, feeling).

People who are in a visual mode – stand or sit with their heads erect and their eyes up and will be breathing from the top of their lungs.

Hearing – they will move their eyes sideways and may tilt their head to one side when they are listening.

Feeling – two types, first type has a posture that tends to slump over and they may move and talk slowly, the second type is more active and talks with their hands.

Eyes movement:

Visual – up and to right (visually constructing an image) or to the left (recalling something visually).
Hearing – sideways and to our right (what something might sound) or to our left (remembering the sound).
Feeling – down and to our right (processing feelings) or to our left (listening to internal dialogue).

Flexible influencing

NLP was first developed in the 1970s as a study of excellence, with top achievers such as Walt Disney.

The fastest way to change your state of mind is to change your body language.

If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.

The mind and body are part of the same structure and affect each other.

To achieve a better outcome, always say what you do want rather than what you don’t want.

Memory and imagination use the same neurological circuits and can potentially have the same impact on the individual.

Much of the language adopted in NLP was modelled from well-known psychiatrist and hypnotherapist Milton Erickson.

The following are elements of the NLP meta model:

Unspecified nouns.
Unspecified verbs. (How specifically)
Comparisons. (Compared with what)
Judgements. (By which criteria)
Nominalizations. (Nouns that started as verbs)
Modal operators of possibility. (What stops you, what would happen if you did)
Modal operators of necessity. (What would happen if you didn’t)
Universal quantifiers. (All, every, …)
Complex equivalence.
Presuppositions. (What leads you to believe that)
Cause and effect.
Mind reading. (How exactly do you know that, how can you be sure)

Proven persuasion techniques

Three different types of listening:

Level 1 – internal listening. Listener is focused on him/herself.
Level 2 – focused listening. listener is focused on the speaker.
Level 3 – global listening. A 360 degrees listening, the speaker is being listened to as part of a wider environment.

FAB stands for Feature, Advantage and Benefit:

Feature – what a product or service is.
Advantage – what that product/service/aspect does.
Benefit – why the advantage is a really good thing to have.

FAB statement: Because … it can/you can … which means that …

Certain words that are effective for influencing people compiled by Kerry L. Johnson: discover, good, money, easy, guaranteed, health, love, new, proven, results, safe, save, own, free, best.

Think about the law of reciprocity and the law of scarcity.

7 x 7

Quotes: Logic will get you from A to B, imagination will take you everywhere (Einstein).
Key ideas.
Tips for influential presentation: be a lighthouse, make eye contact with your audience, avoid death by Power Point, use 5 x 5 rule, 5 bullet point, no more than five words each.
Influential networker.
The best social media influencers. Valuable content. Promote others. Positive comments. Put the work in. High-quality content constantly.
Things to avoid.
Resources.

Your NLP Masterclass

What is NLP?

NLP has been growing in popularity since the mid-1970s.

Neuro – your thinking process.
Linguistic – your words, the way you use language.
Programming – your behavior patterns and emotions.

It was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the early 1970s. They attempted to get under the skin of Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls and Milton Erikson to understand both how they reached their level of excellence and how to reproduce their skills.

Basic principle of excellence:

We have all the resources we need.
The meaning of any communication is the effect it has.
There is no failure, only feedback.
The map is not the territory every person’s map is unique.

If you don’t make the choice for yourself in any aspect of your life, then by default, someone else will make it for you.

Creating well-formed outcomes:

Positive
Specific
Evidence
Ownership
Fit
Resources

Identity empowering and limiting beliefs

Have you ever encountered someone who keeps telling you that no one can help them? Who says so? What would happen if someone could help you? What needs to change for you to be helped?

In NLP terms, beliefs represent the assumptions we make about ourselves, about others in the world and about how we expected things to be. These assumptions determine the way we behave and shape our decision-making process. They are often based on emotions rather than facts. We tend to notice ‘facts’ that reinforce the beliefs.

Notice where your beliefs originate. It may well be that you have beliefs that you no longer need, and their purpose is obsolete. If that is so, then change them.

Compulsive language – which includes the words should, ought or must – leads to patterns of behavior that can become compulsive.

Our decisions are right at the time we make them.

One powerful way to increase your effectiveness in relating to others is to extend your information about the way they behave and how they make their choices. The NLP technique called perceptual positions provides a practical way to do this.

The three basic perceptual positions:

1^st position: self – this is your own reality, how you see, hear, and feel about situation.
2^nd position: other – this is the other person’s reality, how a situation would look, sound and feel if you were them.
3^rd position: observer – this is the detached onlooker, how might the situation appear to someone who is not involved.

When you already have a belief there’s no room for a new one unless you weaken the old belief first.

Some of your beliefs are not fully your own, but rather blindly taken from others. Once a belief is formed, your work overtime to prove it right, even if the belief is something negative such as ‘Nobody likes me’, or ‘I am a failure’.

Recognize how we and others represent the information around us

Eye-accessing cues are probably the part of NLP with which people are most familiar.

When you know how someone is processing information, you can work out the best ways to communicate with them.

Representational systems describe the processing of information. We represent information internally through our basic senses i.e. in pictures (visual), sound (auditory), feelings (kinaesthetic), tastes (gustatory) and smells (olfactory).

Predicates are the words we use to distinguish and differentiate between representational systems.

Rapport is partly established by matching the representational systems and body language of others.

Use precision questions to find out what people mean

Words don’t always transmit the intended meaning because the audience will interpret them in their own way.

The NLP communication model includes the notion that our five senses take in up to 2 million bits of information per second but that our conscious mind can only process 7+/-2 chunks of information at any one time.

The NLP meta model – a series of devices for achieving a better understanding of vague language patterns, including specific questions for added clarification.

Linguistic research suggests that there is a difference between deep and surface levels of language. Deep structure describes the complete and whole experience before saying the words. Surface structure represents the words you speak.

Some of the elements:

Deletion. We delete all kinds of information when we presume that the other person will know what we talk about.
Unspecified nouns. They describe an action without clarifying who carried it out.
Unspecified verbs. You describe an action without clarifying how it was carried out.
Nominalization. It is used to describe what happens when we take a verb or process which is dynamic and change it into a noun so that it becomes static. They are common in business and politics.
Comparisons. Sometimes we can make a statement that implies a comparison but it is not clear what we are comparing.
Judgments.
Distortions. Distortion is a key component of imagination and a useful tool in motivating yourself toward your goals. Distortion occur when a speaker draws conclusions that have no logical foundation, or assumes faulty connections between different parts of their experience.
Mind reading. Those are the kind of interpretations people make when they presume are they know what someone else is thinking or feeling.
Complex equivalent. This often follows mind reading because it links two statements as if they have the same meaning.
Cause and effect.
Presuppositions. Presuppose an underlying assumption about our beliefs and expectations.
Generalizations. Generalizations involve interpreting one experience as an absolute truth, which applies in all circumstances.
Universal quantifiers.
The language of universal quantifiers is likely to include such words as always, ever, never, no one, everyone, all or nothing.
Modal operators of necessity. Should, ought, must.
Modal operators of possibility/impossibility. I can’t or It’s impossible.

Identify different communication filters

We each have our own way of filtering and sorting the information around us. In NLP, these filters are called metaprograms.

Metaprograms are internal filters that we use to sort the information we receive in the systematic way, and which then determine our behavior.

The reason for identifying someone’s metaprogram is to appreciate and understand differences.

Some of the metaprograms:

Toward/away from.
Sameness/difference.
Internal/external. This is sometimes called frame of reference.
General/detail. General person thinks about big picture. Detailed one likes to deal with small data.
Options/procedures.
Proactive/reactive. How do you take the initiative?

Time travel:

Some people seem to live in the past, remembering the way things were.
Other live for now and their attention is on the present.
Future-oriented people tend to plan and to be thinking about the future.

People code time in different ways. In NLP, the term timeline is used to explain where people position their concepts of time. Models like in time or through time.

We manage information at different levels and in different sized chunks. You can change the way someone is thinking about an issue by chunking up or chunking down or chunking sideways into a related or comparative area of research.

Metaprograms are context-specific.

Use the six levels of change and reframing

Neurological levels, also known as the logical levels of change, devised by Rober Dilts.

The six levels of change, from the highest to the lowest:

Connectedness and higher purpose – who else?
Identity and mission – who?
Beliefs and value – why?
Capabilities – how?
Behavior – what?
Environment – where and with whom?

NLP technique of reframing is another way to facilitate change.

Context reframing. Doing the right thing in the right place at the right time.

Content reframing. It is where you change the meaning of seemingly limiting behavior.

Increase your options

Submodalities can help you change the way you code your memories.
Anchors are naturally occurring stimulus-response connections.
Modelling is based on the NLP presupposition: If one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it.

Anchors can be used to bring you to your happy place.

Modeling is the way children learn.

7 x 7

Key themes.
Assumptions to live by. The meaning of your communication is the result you get. It is up to you to get others to understand your message.
We are all unique.
Tips for using NLP.
Principles from NLP. Four pillars of NLP: what you want, understand others and let them know you understand them, be prepared to change what you’re doing and your goals, experience the world and process information using all your senses. It’s not what people say to you that affects you but what you say to yourself afterwards that makes the difference. Recognize your own and other people’s motivation direction.
Coaching questions. What do you want? What would happen if you did? What’s the best question I could ask you now? How do you stop yourself? Always? Where, when and with whom (do you want)? If you did know, what would be the answer?
Influential people. Richard Bandler. John Grinder. Milton Erickson. Virginia Satir. Shelle Rose Charvet. Anthony Robbins. Sue Knight.